Post #69...Bacon and Sex

Post 69..of course about BACON

"Do you like Bacon? Wanna strip?"

 

"Hey baby, can I fry my bacon in your hot sizzling grill?

The people of Canada sure love their bacon. In a recent survey conducted by Maple Leaf Foods, 43% of the respondents said they would rather have bacon than sex. Are you surprised? If you knew Doug...than no!!

Some other interesting findings in the survey:

• Move over High Karate…23% of men ranked bacon as their number one favorite fragrance
• Four out of five respondents (82%) who said they love bacon also said they are good lovers
• Nearly one in four of respondents (23%) wondered if ‘my partner loves bacon more than me’

How about you? If you had to chose, would your choice be bacon or sex? Hmmmm….

Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again. So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome — we’ve got your back, it said. And it’s kosher – no actual pork bellies were harmed in the making of this lube.

Bacon-Wrapped Cracker Appetizer Recipe

Ingredients:

• Club Crackers
• Bacon
• Grated Parmesan Cheese

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 250 degrees.
2. Lay crackers face up (as many as you want) on a cookie sheet.
3. Scoop about 1 tsp. of grated Parmesan cheese onto each cracker.
4. Cut your package of bacon in half and carefully (so cheese does not fall off), wrap each cracker with a slice of bacon, completely covering the cracker (it should fit snugly around the cracker).
5. Place the bacon-wrapped crackers on to a baking sheet that has a rack on it.
6. Place in 250 degree oven for about 2 hours.

It’s said that how we eat is reflective of our appetite in bed. Food and sex: two universal experiences that can easily become addictive and all consuming. You don’t need to look far—The Food Network, billboards, TV spots to name just a few—to witness firsthand the explosive combination of food and sex.

Men are particularly enamoured of bacon, according to the same survey, commissioned, not surprisingly, by Maple Leaf bacon. Some 18 per cent said they can't survive without it, some days.

Bacon's appeal seems to be hardwired into our memories, particularly its distinctive, lingering smell. In the same survey, when men were asked to pick which smell they preferred among choices ranging from vanilla to musk, 23 per cent chose bacon as their favourite. "I remember being a kid and waking up and smelling that," Armstrong says. "It's like coffee in the morning; the smell is just wonderful -- unless you're hungover."
But bacon is even touted as a hangover cure by some. A story last year in the London Daily Telegraph said high levels of amino acids in bacon can help a hungover body feel better.

Praline bacon

4 pounds bacon (about 3 1/2, 500-gram packages), uncooked, chopped into 1/2-inch (1-centimetre) pieces
8 cups (2 litres) walnuts
1 cup (250 mL) maple syrup
3 cups (750 mL) brown sugar
Mix all ingredients together in a very large pot. Transfer to 400 F (200 C) oven for approximately 1 hour. Set timer for 30-minute intervals and stir occasionally. Mixture should reach 300 F (150 C). (Use a candy thermometer.) Using a slotted spoon, transfer onto baking sheet and cool in refrigerator. Recipe can also be cut in half.

 Think of bacon as the archetype of great sex. The satisfying crunch of perfectly crisped bacon, the delightful saltiness and the way it warms and coats the tongue..



I never got a birds and the bees speech as a child. The closest thing I ever got -- one time, my dad was cooking breakfast; he's like, 'Sex is a lot like this egg. First thing you gotta do is heat up the bed real nice, get it nice and warm, get it ready for her. Then, you gotta take her, crack her over the head and lay her out flat, alright? Come on now -- wait 'til she starts sizzlin' really good, then you can flip her on over -- there ya go. Don't get too excited or you get yellow stuff all over the bacon.'
Daniel Tosh

Bacon Cheeseburger Buns Recipe

This is a fun way to serve bacon cheeseburgers without all the fuss of assembling the sandwiches to serve a gang. These convenient packets can be dipped into ketchup or barbecue sauce as you eat them.

2 packages (1/4 ounce each) active dry yeast

2/3 cup warm water (110° to 115°)

2/3 cup warm milk (110° to 115°)

1/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup shortening

2 eggs

2 teaspoons salt

4-1/2 to 5 cups all-purpose flour

 

FILLING:

1 pound sliced bacon, diced

2 pounds ground beef

1 small onion, chopped

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1 pound process cheese (Velveeta), cubed

3 to 4 tablespoons butter, melted

Ketchup or barbecue sauce, optional

In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Add the milk, sugar, shortening, eggs, salt and 3-1/2 cups flour; beat until smooth. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough.

Turn onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour.

Meanwhile, in a large skillet, cook bacon over medium heat until crisp. Using a slotted spoon, remove to paper towels. In a Dutch oven, cook the beef, onion, salt and pepper over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Add bacon and cheese; cook and stir until cheese is melted. Remove from the heat.

Punch dough down. Turn onto a lightly floured surface; divide into fourths. Roll each portion into an 12-in. x 8-in. rectangle; cut each into six squares. Place 1/4 cup meat mixture in the center of each square. Bring corners together in the center and pinch to seal.

Place 2 in. apart on greased baking sheets. Bake at 400° for 9-11 minutes or until lightly browned. Brush with butter. Serve warm with ketchup if desired.

Couple Night OutA French couple, an Italian couple, and a Polish couple go out to dinner.
The French husband says to his wife "pass the honey, honey."
The Italian man says to his wife "Pass the sugar, sweety."
The polish guy, not quite understanding the situation, says to his wife "pass the bacon you fat f*cking pig".

Bacon Caramel Popcorn


Bacon adds a whole new layer of flavor to traditional caramel corn in this recipe for Bacon Caramel Popcorn! Chunks of crispy, salty bacon are mixed with caramel corn and toasted pecans, and then everything is baked together until you have sweet, crunchy clusters. If you want to go really crazy, you can drizzle the whole thing with chocolate when you're finished

6 slices bacon

5 cups popped popcorn (preferably plain)

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

4 tbsp butter

2 tbsp light corn syrup

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/3 cup toasted, chopped pecans

Candy thermometer

 

1. Preheat your oven to 250 degrees F (121 C). Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil, and spray the foil with nonstick cooking spray.
2. Cook the bacon in a skillet until crispy, then drain off the fat and let it cool. Once cool, coarsely chop the bacon into half-inch pieces.
3. Place the bacon, popcorn, and chopped pecans into a large bowl and toss them together.
4. In a small saucepan, combine the brown sugar, butter, and corn syrup and stir them together over medium heat. Once the sugar and butter have melted, stop stirring and insert a candy thermometer 
5. Continue to cook the sugar until it reaches 238 degrees F (114 C) on the candy thermometer, which should only take 3-4 minutes.
6. Once at the proper temperature, remove the pan from the heat, add the baking soda, and stir vigorously. The sugar mixture will foam up, so be careful during this step.
7. Pour the foamy sugar over the popcorn mixture in the bowl and quickly stir everything together, making sure the popcorn, nuts, and bacon are coated with caramel.
8. Spread the popcorn out over the prepared baking sheet. Bake it for about 45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes to distribute the caramel.
9. Once it is golden brown and crunchy, take the popcorn out of the oven and allow it to cool completely. Store Bacon Caramel Popcorn in an airtight container at room temperature for up to a week.

If you are looking for something to do with the excess bacon fat left over after step 2, try this recipe for bacon caramels!


Bacon Caramels

Despite what their name might suggest, Bacon Caramels actually have a subtle bacon taste, since the recipe does not call for any actual bacon in it. Rather, they are made with bacon fat instead of butter, so they have a slight undertone of a smoky, savory flavor. Of course, you can always top them with some crumbled bacon to boost the pork factor!

1 cup heavy cream

5 tbsp bacon fat

1 tsp salt

1.5 cups granulated sugar

1/4 cup light corn syrup

1/4 cup water

Flaked sea salt or crumbled bacon, as toppings (optional)

Candy thermometer

 

1. Prepare an 8x8 pan by lining it with aluminum foil and spraying the foil with nonstick cooking spray.
2. In a medium saucepan, combine the salt, granulated sugar, light corn syrup, and water. Make sure your pan leaves enough room for the mixture to approximately quadruple in size. Place the pan over medium-high heat and stir until the sugar dissolves.
3. Once the sugar dissolves, insert the candy thermometerand cook the mixture, without stirring, until it reaches 330 degrees F (165 C) on the candy thermometer. It should be a medium-amber color and fragrant when it is ready.
4. While you wait for the caramel to cook, combine the heavy cream and the bacon fat in a small saucepan and place it over medium heat until it just reaches a simmer. Once simmering, take it off the heat and set it aside for now.
5. When the sugar has caramelized and reached 330 on the thermometer, begin whisking it and slowly drizzle in the hot cream mixture. It will steam and splutter quite a bit, so be careful to avoid burns. Once all of the cream is incorporated, continue to cook the caramel, stirring frequently, until it reaches 255 degrees F (123 C) on the thermometer.
6. Pour the caramel into the prepared pan. Let it sit for a few minutes, then while it is still warm, sprinkle the top with flaked sea salt or crumbled bacon (or a combination of both), if you desire.
7. Let the caramel cool completely at room temperature, for at least 4 hours or overnight.
8. Once set, remove the caramel from the pan using the foil as handles. Peel the foil off the back. Use a large sharp knife to cut it into small squares. For easiest storage, wrap each individual caramel in waxed paper or parchment paper.
9. Store individually wrapped Bacon Caramels in an airtight container or bag at room temperature for up to two weeks.

dont hate me because I'm ugly!!

Loaded Baked Sweet Potato Soup

serves about 4, can be easily multiplied
3 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed (I had 2lbs total after peeling and cubing)
2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 tablespoons flour
1/2 sweet onion, diced (about 1/2 cup chopped)
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 1/2-3 cups low-sodium vegetable stock
1 1/2-2 cups low-sodium chicken stock
1/2 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika

for garnishes: bacon, mascarpone cheese, crumbled goat cheese & crispy shallots

Prepare potatoes: peel and cube sweet potatoes, then add to a microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high power for about 10 minutes or until fork tender, tossing 2-3 times during cook time. If you do not want to use the microwave, throw the potatoes on a baking sheet with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper (you can omit/add less salt and pepper later if this is the case) and roast at 400 degrees for about 35 minutes. Using the microwave will help this soup come together in 30 minutes. Roasting the sweet potatoes adds a bit more “caramely,” deep flavor.
Heat a large pot over medium-high heat. Add butter and diced onions and cook for 5 minutes. Stir in garlic and cook for 1 minute more, then add flour and whisk continuously to create a roux with the onions. Cook the onion roux for about 2-3 minutes, until it starts to golden in color a bit and smell nutty. Add in stock, milk, smoked paprika and potatoes, then bring to a boil. Simmer for 15-20 minutes over medium heat, stirring often – especially scraping the bottom. The potatoes will begin to bread down at this time – if they are not as broken down as you’d like, mash a bit more with a fork. Turn heat down to low and add salt and pepper. Taste and adjust seasonings according to preference. If you’d prefer a thinner soup, add more stock to thin it out. You can also throw the soup in the blender to make it super creamy.
Serve hot with garnishes of crumbled bacon, mascarpone cheese, goat cheese, and crisped shallots.
Note: to crisp the shallots, I sliced 2 whole shallots very thinly, add a little canola oil over medium-high heat, and once hot added the shallots. I cooked them for about 2 minutes, then removed with a slotted spoon and let drain on a paper towel. So good.