Happy Solstice! Panzella Salad



Hope everyone had a Happy Solstice..no matter what path you are on!!!

I know I am late but we can celebrate Summer every day!!  This recipe reminds me of my great grandma..cause she used to make a delicious "bread salad"..tomatoes, onions, fresh basil and italian bread ..vinegar and olive oil..dont knock it till you consume a few bowls ..

That's what Panzella is..bread salad... Panzanella or panmolle is a Florentine salad of bread and tomatoes popular in the summer. It includes chunks of soaked stale bread and tomatoes, sometimes also onions and basil, dressed with olive oil and vinegar. Its very light and very savory.. makes a perfect summer dinner...NO COOKING...well not much. 


Panzanella was based on onions, not tomatoes, until the 20th century.

Modern panzanella is generally made of stale bread soaked in water and squeezed dry, tomatoes, olive oil, vinegar, salt, and pepper. Onion and basil are often added.

Other ingredients—lettuce, olives, mozarella, white wine, capers, anchovies, celery, carrots, red wine, red onion, cucumber, tuna, parsley, boiled eggs, mint, bell peppers, lemon juice, and garlic— are sometimes used, but Florentine traditionalists disapprove of them.

Here is a wonderful, flavorful recipe that is perfect for the hot, muggy days we have been having here in the Northeast!


This recipe is from Chef Tony Chittum (don't ask me..I have no idea who he is either..but he does know how to cook!)

Summer Squash & Cornbread Panzanella

      I had to make a few adjustments to this recipe, mostly out of necessity. For example, I couldn't find patty pan squash, so I used some baby squash I picked up at a local fresh market.   
      If you don't have a grill, you can saute the squash and zucchini in a pan (it helps create flavorful brown bits, but clearly grilling is better for flavor).

Ingredients

• 4 cups cornbread, large diced cubes
• 4 TBSP olive oil
• 2 cups patty pan squash-mixed colors
• 2 cups baby zucchini-mixed colors
• 2 cups cherry tomatoes-mixed colors (feel free to use rough chopped tomatoes of any variety)
• 2 TBSP red wine vinegar
• 3 TBSP capers-salt cured (I don't like capers..no I nixed them)
• 2 TBSP basil, cleaned and torn (as much as you like actually..has to be fresh)
• 2 TBSP parsley leaves, cleaned (as much as you like actually..has to be fresh)
• Salt and pepper to taste (tt)

Method

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees
2. Take the cornbread cubes and toss it with 1 tablespoon of olive oil and season with salt and pepper
3. Place the cornbread cubes on a rack and bake them in the oven until crispy...about ten minutes..now you have croutons.
4. Place the croutons aside to cool
5. Place the squash and zucchini in a large mixed bowl and toss with one tablespoon of olive oil; season with salt and pepper
6. Grill the squash and zucchini over high heat until slightly charred and al dente; about one minute per side
7. Place squash and zucchini aside to cool
8. Once the croutons and squash mixture are cooled, place them in a large mixing bowl with remaining ingredients, season with salt and pepper and light toss until fully combined
9. Serve immediately at room temperature. and enjoy!!

Here is a more traditional recipe...from Ina Garten

Barefoot Contessa's Recipe for Panzella

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons good olive oil
• 1 small French bread or boule, cut into 1-inch cubes (6 cups)
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 large, ripe tomatoes, cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1 hothouse cucumber, unpeeled, seeded, and sliced 1/2-inch thick
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1 yellow bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1/2 red onion, cut in 1/2 and thinly sliced
• 20 large basil leaves, coarsely chopped
• 3 tablespoons capers, drained

For the vinargrette:

• 1 teaspoon finely minced garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 3 tablespoons Champagne vinegar
• 1/2 cup good olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Heat the oil in a large saute pan. Add the bread and salt; cook over low to medium heat, tossing frequently, for 10 minutes, or until nicely browned. Add more oil as needed.

For the vinaigrette, whisk all the ingredients together.
In a large bowl, mix the tomatoes, cucumber, red pepper, yellow pepper, red onion, basil, and capers. Add the bread cubes and toss with the vinaigrette. Season liberally with salt and pepper. Serve, or allow the salad to sit for about half an hour for the flavors to blend.

THIS IS JUST YUM..... AND DEFINITELY FITS INTO FOOD PORN CATEGORY!!  THE MORE YOU EAT...THE MORE YOU WANT... mmm and you can add cooked bacon, but panchetta would be better...


here is the picture for Diane...and Nicole:

Nanna's "Kitsap County" Buttermilk Pancakes from Diane

My bestie from rainy Washington state, Diane, has sent me this recipe for Buttermilk Pancakes... and she assures me pictures are following...

Nanna's "Kitsap County" Buttermilk Pancakes
2.......cups flour
1.......level tsp. baking soda
6.......level tsp. baking powder
1/2...tsp. salt
2.......Tbs sugar
3.......eggs ...seperated (if small make it 4)
1/4...cup oil
3.......buttermilk
Mix dry ingredients, add buttermilk and oil.  Beat egg whites till stiff and fold in last. heat griddle to 375 degrees  and lightly oil.
turn once bubbles start to break...and remove when lightly brown.

She doesn't say it but I will..top with real butter and real maple syrup..BIG YUM!!!
(never use make believe maple syrup...you just don't know about it...)

Yes my lovelies, pancakes do not necessarily come out of a box marked "Aunt Jemima" or "Eggo"!!  This looks like an awesome recipe.  And it has the added dimension of going so well with bacon!!  Doug approves!!!

Now you can make your pancakes in traditional round "pancake" shape...or you can use a bit more whimsey... When my kiddles were young, I used to make pancakes in the shape of their initials...hey!!! stop laughing!!! They were impressed!!! 

I saw these pancake designs and want them....I want to eat these pancakes..NOW (use Diane's recipe)..I can make these...

(I love teddybears..so of course this is my favorite too damn cute!)

and Doug sends Diane a dozen bacon roses for her contribution to our blog

Thank you, sweetie!!

You are awesome!!

If you would like to be included in our blog (Doug and June Food DJ).. just send me your recipes and pictures if you have them..if not I will just make some up :)

and you too may receive a dozen bacon roses from Doug!

My Ideas About Food...or how I plan on stalling the grim reaper for a few more years

    OK, those of you that know me, know I have spent most of my life trying to lose weight (and those of you that don't,  do now)..from the time I ingested my first diet pill at 11 yrs old (which was speed..prescribed by my doctor) to today.  I have been on every f*ckin diet imaginable..from unhealthy to absolutely suicidal.  No dice.. never lost any serious amount of weight and I always managed to gain everything I lost and a few more. 

So Lesson #1 to be learned, campers...diets never work!

     I have never made excuses ..like the big bone theory...or under active thyroid theory.... I know I just eat crappy...not a lot of food..just the wrong foods for my body and ironically I don't like eating, but like alot of people, I just equate food and love. You bought me cookies? You must love me. that is incorrect thinking.  I have now come to realize food is food...that's it... and all those feelings that pop up, they suck out loud, I know...well, time to put on the big girl panties and deal.. Not easy..much easier to "eat" feelings" especially the bad ones. 


 I also hail from a culture that has food as the centerpoint of every social experience...and not just food...LOTS of food. It was considered insulting and ill mannered to not have an over abundance of food for your guests. So, when I grew up, food was power packed with messages and they got burned in my little brain.

    Something that really pisses me off is people that tell me all I need to do is go on a diet and/or eat less.  People that assume that I have no self control and no willpower...people that assume I am lazy and stupid.  Those people are lucky I let them live... I am a non-violent person, but I might be coaxed to make exceptions. Cloris Leechman once said and I quote.."maybe fat catchers should go out and catch all fat people and put them on diets. Fat people pollute the aesthetic environment."   I am not stupid, lazy, lack self control, or lack willpower and I do not polute the aesthetic enviroment of the world. For a lot of us weight is a lot more complicated than calories in and calories expended..Trust me...

Now, the educational stuff..don't skip it cause it's boring!!  It's not, it's eye opening.

   When I was at my heaviest weight, I also had too many doctors (not my present one) ask me about bypass surgery or lapband surgery aka bariatric surgery as an option for me (and ironically enough, I had a dr tell me I would have to lose weight before they would even consider me for bariatric surgery...anyone else see the aburdity here?)  And as my way, I did copious amounts of research on the subject. And I do share..cause I love you and don't want you to die!

    I will explain what that is exactly.. Gastrointestinal surgery for obesity, also called bariatric surgery, alters the digestive process by making the stomach smaller. In a gastric bypass, the part of the intestine where many minerals and vitamins are most easily absorbed is bypassed. They restrict both food intake and the amount of calories and nutrients the body absorbs. People who have open gastric bypass surgery can quickly begin to lose weight and continue to lose weight for up to 12 months.

    Here is my deal on that...I will NOT under any circumstances, mutilate my body...to fit what you think I should look like (I have enough issues dealing with what I think I should look like).  I am not befuddled enough to think having surgery like this is an answer to health problems.. I KNOW better!!  The side effects of bariatric surgery? Well, just delightful, read on...


Documented side effects of gastric bypass:

* An iron and vitamin B12 deficiency occurs more than 30% of the time. About 50% of those with an iron deficiency develop anemia.
* The connection between the stomach and the intestines narrows (stomal stenosis) 5% to 15% of the time, leading to nausea and vomiting after eating.
* Ulcers develop 5% to 15% of the time.
* The staples may pull loose.
* Hernia may develop.
* The bypassed stomach may enlarge, resulting in hiccups and bloating (and weight gain).


20% of people who choose this option have to have follow-up operations to correct complications (abdominal hernias being the most common), and more than one third develop gallstones from the rapid weight loss. An unpublicized side effect of gastric bypass surgery is excessive and malodorous (google, campers) flatulence odor (but you can buy deodorant pads to put on your chair..to help absorb the odor...so people will sit near you again).

Other common side effects of gastric bypass:

* Nausea and Vomiting
* Dehydration
* Food Intolerance
* Changed Bowel Habits
* Cold Intolerance
* Difficulty swallowing (also called dysphagia)
* Hair loss
* Increased dependence on alcohol

In case you don't like that research form the University of Pittsburg and Tufts Medical Center in Boston, this info from the Mayo Clinic:

As with any major surgery, gastric bypass and other weight-loss surgeries pose potential health risks, both in the short term and long term.

Risks associated with the surgical procedure can include:

• Excessive bleeding
• Infection
• Adverse reactions to anesthesia
• Blood clots
• Lung or breathing problems
• Leaks in your gastrointestinal system
• Death

Longer term risks and complications of weight-loss surgery can include:

• Bowel obstruction
• Dumping syndrome, causing diarrhea, nausea or vomiting
• Gallstones
• Hernias
• Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)
• Malnutrition
• Stomach perforation
• Ulcers
• Vomiting
• Death

After surgery of course, you get about 2 TBSP of clear liquids (broth and water only) up to 5 times a day for the first few weeks..then weeks 4-8, your "meals" get thicker 9as you can tolerate), but still no solid food.. at week 8 you slowly add soft foods into your diet about 4 ounces of food at a meal ..3 meals a day.

Foods should to be eliminated from your diet...according to the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery

Carbonated beverages

Soft “doughy” bread

Pasta

Rice

Tough, dry, red meat

Nuts

Popcorn

Other fibrous foods

Caffeine in moderation

Alcohol

The following foods have to be eliminated from your diet forever…

• Sugar, sugar-containing foods and concentrated sweets
• Fruit juice
• High-saturated fat
• Fried foods

Is anyone else seeing the insanity in this???  If you ate like this, of course you would lose weight!!  No solid food for 2 months.. 3 meals..each meal no larger than 4 ounces total... eliminating all the foods above....anything with sugar, anything fried, etc.  So surgery or not, you would lose huge amounts of weight and not become an alcoholic (10% of all bariatric patients do after surgery)... and don't give me bullshit about lapbands and the other crap they tout..  It's all money making.. and if you don't believe that you are even more naive than I am.  Doctors are not gods..they don't know everything and that don't have all the answers.  They are just people with good diagnosing (guessing) skills.

And let's be real..life without french fries or birthday cake (not to mention bacon) ???  Is that life at all?  Especially when you read the following...


    Food for Thought: Encouraging patients to increase their activity and eat better can have a significant effect on health, even if it doesn’t affect weight. A recent study in the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine indicated that obese people who eat well, exercise, drink in moderation, and do not smoke have better mortality rates than people of “normal” weight who did the same. Wow..it's not being fat that is the problem..surprised?  Studies have also shown patients who have bariatric surgery are at greater risk of dying from causes other than disease, such as suicide, accidents and drug overdose.

Lesson #2 ..Bariatric Surgery is not the answer, either.

    I am not telling anyone else what to do, but if I loved you, I would strongly counsel you against dieting or surgery as a solution.

     Now I am over 40 (stop snickering..that's all I claim to), anyways...I did lose a large amount of weight...first it started because I had stomach problems and couldn't eat and progressed to not wanting to eat.  Now I will be the first to admit a diet of toast, tea and tomato soup..no matter how good the soup is ..is like the "crazy train" of eating...you get there, but its a bumpy ride.  I did lose 138 lbs so far, but I have also compromised my health.  I had a problem with malnutrition, anemia, gray dry skin, brittle hair and nails..and general malaise.  (Remember depression is merely rage spread thin).  And although I eat less than 900 calories a day, my weight loss is stalled.

Well, I did a couple of things...first and foremost I found and excellent PCP..who saw me as a woman not as a fat woman.  And he helped me address my health issues one by one (and still does).  He told me my problem was I tried to do everything at once..a complete overhaul..and it's just too overwhelming...so his solution was..one issue at a time.  Once that is resolved we move on to something else new and exciting (and don't let me kid you, I do this kicking and screaming..but I do it). 

   And I found a psychotherapist who doesn't think I am crazy and helps me look at my food issues for what they are..and (hint, hint) they are not about food (surprised?).

        Doug (of Doug and June fame) and I have discussed how the body work on a nutritional level and physical level (the advantages of glomming on to a man who has also been a successful personal trainer.)  And he does understand how metabolism gets screwed up and even though you eat less than 1000 calories a day..you stop losing weight because your body says, "Hey what the hell you doing???  We are gonna die here...well we will fix this - slow down metabolism.  She wont lose any more weight that way and she won't die...solution"

Some other things he has told me (and he thinks I don't pay attention)

• a good, healthy breakfast will kick start your metabolism..turn it up so to speak
• exercise is essential to building muscle, raising metabolism and ultimately lose weight
• planning is essential to optimum health and general happiness in life (but I add..stay flexible...if you plan on eating broccoli and it doesn't happen, the world will not end.)
• having a meal plan takes stress out of meals
• tracking your exercise makes you feel better about yourself (and doesn't let you lie to yourself about your progress or lack there of)

(an incentive to eat more salad..this is not Doug -he is cuter- but

Doug assured me this man eats bacon)

You know the difference between growing up with a fat mom and a thin mom?  You fall down and skin your knee, a thin mom says...come on sweetie..lets walk it off.  You fall down and skin your knee with a fat mom she says...aww sweetie, her I baked some fresh cookies for you.  (Sorry to my kids).

  After doing research, from the cardiac association program and the diabetic programs and some common sense.  I have come up with these helpful hints:

Daily
eat 4-6 servings of fruit and veggies daily
eat 4-8 servings of grains
eat 2-3 TBSP of oils (olive being first choice)
eat 2-3 cups of low fat dairy
eat 4-8 ounces of protein

weekly:
eat 4 servings of nuts and/or beans a week
eat none to < than processed meats a week
eat 2 servings of fish a week
eat 2-3 servings of red meat a week

daily:
saturated fat should be should be less than 7% of your daily intake of calories
LDL (bad) cholesterol should be less than < 100mg
HDL (good) > 40 mg
total fat < 100 grams
saturated fat < 20 grams
trans fat 0 to <3 grams
sodium < 2 grams

This is based on a 2500 calorie diet..which is the average calorie intake for a human who is reasonably active. These are the guidelines that are heart healthy.

Men need to add calories depending on activity level.

Now I can also tell you..I cannot eat that many calories a day and lose weight.. but Bob/Dad did (it's the unfair man advantage).

The guidelines I use are from LiveStrong.com..so my recommended calorie intake to "extreme" weight loss is 1400. (recommended calorie intake is 1800 to lose weight for women).  The trick is to make those calories low sodium, low cholesterol and nutrition dense ( no Cheetos, no sugar soda, no processed "crap").

So, campers, this is my master plan...(to take over the world first and eat healthier second...no no no reverse that order)

     I have health issues that require the following..an almost no salt food plan (definitely no added sodium..and that baby hides everywhere), and I was advised to drink 3 liters of water a day .....  and I don't eat dairy (except for cheese..you go figure) and I don't particularly like red meat (cow variety anyways) or the "other" white meat, pork...But I do love almost every veggie on earth except okra..that is just gross..I like all fruits..and I like chicken and turkey, but only white meat.  So you may say ..this is simple, June....au contraire, mes amis.  I am a carb freak... I crave carbs... I jones for them (anyone under 40..google).. I crave carbs like Doug craves meat (add joke of your choice here).  Yes, bread of all kinds croissants, bagels, biscuits, foccacia, etc (she waxes drooling)..good bakery bread (not American white bread), potatoes in any way shape or form, not so much rice and pasta... So if I had my druthers, I would eat veggies, fruit, cheese, bread and potatoes only.  THAT is NOT healthy...well it's almost healthy.  So that is my personal challenge..eat more protein less carbs!  (sounds good on paper).

This is what our research and development team (me) came up with for a personal basic template for June:

Breakfast:
1 ounce of protein (like an egg, or a slice of cheese or some peanut butter)
2 servings of bread/potato/rice (2 pieces of toast, a bagel, 1/2 home fries, etc)
1 fruit (first choice always blackberries in season)
1 fat (TBSP)

Lunch:
2 ounces of protein
2 servings bread/potato/rice
2 veggie
1 salad (or add another veg)
1 fat (TBSP)
1 fruit

Dinner:
1-2 ounces of protein
1 serving bread/potato/rice
2 servings of veggies or a salad
1 fat(TBSP)
1 fruit

3 L of water a day.

and I have to add hot tea.  I drink mine black (or clear, as Doug says).

   This gets in the essentials..now you can add "other" stuff that you love. There is nothing to deny yourself.  You really can eat anything, even bacon. But before you eat that cheesecake make sure you ate all the good stuff. Ohh and throw in a couple of servings of dairy to be on the safe side (I don't like it..just a crazy June thing). And you can adapt and change as necessary...and desire.. afterall..if there was no pizza or french fries would life actually be worth living?

     For me, this is a daunting task most days...it feels like too much food.  I never eat more than 4 ounces of protein...and getting down 3L of water...sometimes seems impossible, I don't believe in eating anything "unlimited"...lets face it, there has to be a limit somewhere.  Ohh and I wont eat anything I don't like/love (stop laughing, Doug!!).

    I asked the afore mentioned Doug, if this sounded too preachy... I tend to get on my soapbox about things I am passionate about.  He assured me no, that I had done the research and I was sharing parts of myself.. and that it was all good.  My Laura, however mentioned.."Mom, you do know that you are writing about weight loss in a "bacon" blog".  Alas!! That is what our blog has morfed into?? A Bacon Blog!!!  (but I love chocolate!!)

You know I am not done with this subject...updates will be available!

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of those pieces...lol

Doug's Debut

Doug's Debut

  Well I finally have a few minutes I can sit down and make my first post. For anyone who thought I was a figment of June's imagination, rest assured, I still might be. So what to write about my first time.....well, seeing as June has already suggested once (or a million times) I have an affinity to bacon, perhaps that's what I should start with.

  If you are a regular reader of our blog then you have already enjoyed June's foray into the world of bacon, the culture, products, state of mind of those who love, perhaps even worship bacon. And I'm sure that's the tip of the iceberg.

  Now one might think that there isn't too much to cooking bacon, and perhaps you're right, but when we are talking about something as monumentally important as bacon, a food that has generated countless groups on facebook and many other social media, there is nothing wrong with going over it.

  A general tip for cooking bacon, or most proteins for that matter is "low and slow". So no matter which method you employ, turning it to high is not the best method. Whether you want your bacon crispy or not, remember... there is no wrong way to eat your bacon.

• Frying pan - of course this is the long standing method. If you have a huge pan, you may be able to get half the package of bacon in. This may be a way to keep yourself from eating the whole package in one sitting, but that hasn't worked for me, I will always put the second half in while I'm eating the first batch. As mentioned, turn the heat to medium or medium high but never high. Keeping the bacon lying flat on the pan will ensure even cooking and moving them around in the pan helps to cook them all to the same doneness.

• Griddle - Basically a bigger frying pan. The advantage, better heat control and often a larger surface to cook MORE bacon. mmmmmm

• Oven - if you've never tried it this way, I recommend it. A large cooking sheet will hold a whole package laid out flat to be cooked evenly and easily with little worry of splatter. You may put the bacon right on the cooking sheet or on a wire rack over the sheet. Cook at 350 for about 20 minutes for slightly crispy bacon. The result is amazingly flat, evenly cooked bacon.

• Microwave - I have tried this method and there are even special platters for cooking bacon in here. My experience...only in a pinch. I'd say don't, but lets face it...eating bacon is more important than standing on principles of cooking methods. To cook bacon in a microwave, lay 4-6 slices on a plate lined with a paper towel and cook on high for 4-5 minutes. Its a good idea to cook for 3 minutes and then one minute intervals until desired doneness.

As a side note... after you have cooked your bacon, drain the grease though a sieve and keep for cooking or adding to your hamburger patty recipe. More on this at a later time.

Now, of course you can enjoy bacon on its own,  or add some other foods like eggs and toast to the plate. But you can also garnish your bacon by putting a hamburger under it, or surrounding it with tomato and chicken and toast and lettuce and mayo. There are many ways to garnish your bacon, the only thing stopping you is your imagination.

HOT HUNKY MEN (posted by who else)

Anyplace I hang my hat is home-wait did I say that??

damn

wait wait wait

I changed my mind....

those guys dont look so good upon reflection

better

BEST!!!

This Week's Favorite Song (by June)...ANALOG MAN by "crazy" Joe Walsh

Analog Man

by Joe Walsh

Welcome to cyberspace, I'm lost in the fog (yeah..J note)
everything's digital I'm still analog
when something goes wrong
I don't have a clue
some 10-year-old smart ass has to show me what to do (how sad but true..J note)
Sign on with high speed you don't have to wait
Sit there for days and vegetate
I access my email, read all my spam, I'm an analog man.

the whole world's living in a digital dream
it's not really there
it's all on the screen
makes me forget who I am
I'm an analog man

Yeah I'm an analog man in a digital world
I'm gonna get me an analog girl
Who loves me for what I am.
I'm an analog man

What's wrong with vinyl, I think it sounds great
LPs, 45s, 78s but that's just the way I am (me too Joe..J)
I'm an analog man

Turn on the tube, watch until dawn
one hundred channels, nothing is on
endless commercials, endless commercials, endless commercials

the whole world's glued to the cable TV
It looks so real on the big LCD
murder and violence are rated PG, too bad for the children
they are what they see

the whole world's living in a digital dream
it's not really there
it's all on the screen
makes me forget who I am
I'm an analog man

yeah I'm an analog man in a digital world
I'm gonna get me an analog girl
Who loves me for what I am.
I'm an analog man

Yeah I'm an analog man in a digital world

Foods to Increase Libido... written for men ....who else would believe this crap?

Here are 11 foods that will provide the essential fuel to spark your sexual appetite and increase libido.  (my note..don't believe everything you read...seriously.. just stick with chocolate)


1- Celery
While celery may not be the first food that comes to mind when you're thinking sex, it can be a fantastic source food for sexual stimulation. This is because it contains androsterone, an odorless hormone released through male perspiration and turns women on.

How to enjoy this libido food: Celery is best eaten raw. Wash and cut some, and munch away.

2- Raw oysters. This is one of the classic aphrodisiacs. Oysters are high in zinc, which raises sperm and testosterone production. Oysters also contain dopamine, a hormone known to increase libido. Also, the experience of shucking a raw oyster is erotic. Try incorporating it into your foreplay -- feed her and have her feed you. The slippery taste sensation and the mere act of shucking should get you both in the mood. (my note..ewwww...this doesnt work for everyone obviously)
 
How to enjoy this libido food: Scrub the shells thoroughly to get any dirt or bacteria off. Pry them open and place them on a bed of ice, squeeze some fresh lemon onto them if you like, and then start shucking away
.
3- Bananas
Bananas contain the bromelain enzyme, which is believed to increase libido and reverse impotence in men. Additionally, they are good sources of potassium and B vitamins like riboflavin, which increase the body's overall energy levels.

 How to enjoy this libido food: Place them on a dish in various states of "undress" and have your lady slowly eat some for you. Then gobble yours down and get to work.

4- Avocado
  The Aztecs called the avocado tree "ahuacatl," or "testicle tree." While avocados can indeed look like that body part, they contain high levels of folic acid, which helps metabolize proteins, thus giving you more energy. They also contain vitamin B6 (a nutrient that increases male hormone production) and potassium (which helps regulate a woman's thyroid gland), two elements that help increase libido in both men and women.

How to enjoy this libido food: Cut one in half, scoop out the insides with your fingers, and then get your woman to lick it off

.

5- Almonds (or nuts in general) insert bad joke about nuts here.
Almonds are a prime source of essential fatty acids. These are vital as they provide the raw material for a man's healthy production of hormones. Additionally, the smell of almonds is purported to arouse passion in females. Try lighting some almond-scented candles to encourage her mood and snack on some (but not too many) yourself to store up energy for your performance.

How to enjoy this libido food: Eat them raw (with no added salt or sweetness). Or, crush some fresh almonds and sprinkle them on your salad to get the energy you need

.
6- Mangoes, peaches and strawberries
What can be more fun than sinking your teeth into a drippy, sticky-sweet fruit? Probably doing that as a prelude to (or during) sex. All of the above fruits and their shapes, textures and succulence are erotically suggestive and can be fun to use amid foreplay. Try dribbling the juices over your bodies and licking up the residue as an erotic game. It makes for a great (and tasty) way to discover each other's bodies.

How to enjoy this libido food: Peel the mango, cut the peach and slice up some strawberries, and feed your woman while she's giving you (censored)  mmm.... you know what you like her giving you...

 7- Eggs
Although not the most sensual of foods, eggs are high in vitamins B6 and B5. These help balance hormone levels and fight stress, two things that are crucial to a healthy libido. Eggs are also a symbol of fertility and rebirth. Some people will eat raw chicken eggs just prior to sex to increase libido and maximize energy levels. But all bird and fish eggs contain B6 and B5.

How to enjoy this libido food: Have some caviar and (a bit of) champagne during your fun or gobble down some hard-boiled eggs beforehand. (my note...careful of the smell of hard boiled eggs..eat them fast)


 8- Liver (GROSS)
A good source of glutamine -- a cellular fuel for your immune system -- liver may indeed increase a slowed-down libido. Granted, it's not the sexiest of foods, but if you add it to your basic diet, your body -- and your lady -- will thank you for it.. or NOT!! (my note..if you eat liver, scrub your mouth out after with Scope) 

 How to enjoy this libido food: Try frying liver up in a pan with some onions, spices and olive oil to make the taste more agreeable (to the dog perhaps).

9- Figs
These are high in amino acids, which are believed to increase libido. They can also improve sexual stamina. Furthermore, the shape of a fresh fig and the sweet, juicy taste are two tangible aspects that are highly pleasurable to the human senses.

How to enjoy this libido food: Feed her some fresh figs and let the juices run all wild while you're both getting revved up

10- Garlic
Yes, you might need to stock up on some extra breath mints, but it'll be worth it. Garlic contains allicin, an ingredient that increases blood flow to the sexual organs. As such, it's a highly effective herb to help increase libido. If the odor just won't work for you -- or you can't stand garlic -- you and your lady can always take garlic capsules instead. (my note..just BOTH eat garlic...problem solved)

How to enjoy this libido food: Well, chances are you can't enjoy garlic and sex simultaneously, so take some capsules and get it over with. (stupid capsules..yummy garlic bread)

11- Chocolate
Aside from the fact that it is the surest way to a woman's  naughty bits, chocolate also contains theobromine -- an alkaloid -- that is very similar to caffeine. It also contains phenylethylamine, a chemical believed to produce the feeling of "being in love." So, when your woman talks about how good chocolate makes her feel, there is some science behind it. In addition, dark chocolate has a massive amount of anti-oxidants, which are great for the body in general, as they help maintain the immune system.

How to enjoy this libido food: From chocolate bars to chocolate fondue, as long as it's chocolate, you and your woman will be in for a tasty session.

start eating & munching

Now that you know what your body needs to perform at its peak, head down to your local supermarket or corner store, and fill your shopping cart with all the ingredients you need to make sex that much better.

this is just wrong