Doug and I were talking yesterday and we actually talking about (or aboot, if you are Canadian) Christmas... which one of us is nuttier? (he is ..check his equipment).. We actually were talking about organizing recipes...his are on Microsoft office, mine on June office 4.0 - scrawled on the back of envelopes... same thing. This blog has taken on a life of it's own. I write like stream of consciousness with spell check. But Doug is the consummate planner. So he is FORCING me to think about 4 months from now!! WTH??? By then this blog could be about anything!! (and usually is...).
cool cookies, huh?? ..and sorry to disappoint you, Doug, I did not make these..but I could, if I was that freaking bored I wanted to make cookies based on a crappy novel I was not reading
Like "50 Shades of Grey" or the so called "mommy porn". No, I haven't read it, campers..nor do I have any intention to...not because it's soft porn, (I am NO prude..by any means) but because soft porn/erotica for women has been done so much better by others. I read the Cliff Notes... it don't impress me much. I guess what it has done is introduced Bondage and Domination/ Sadomasochism (B&D/S&M..it ain't the name of a diaper ointment) to the Vanilla Ladies.. hmm been around for a long time..where were they? I loved this review...The New Zealand Herald stated that the book "will win no prizes for its prose" and that "there are some exceedingly awful descriptions," but that it was also an easy read and if you "can suspend your disbelief and your desire to – if you'll pardon the expression – slap the heroine for having so little self respect, you might enjoy it." Ha Ha Ha... slap the heroine indeed!! (wait, correct me if I am wrong, did not my generation work so hard at freeing women from the submissive role? Trying to encourage women to have their own voice and power..being seen as equal to or better then men...yeah, excuse me for throwing reality in here. Yes, the writing is poor, but then soft porn is not read for its elegant writing style, now is it... At the beginning of the media hype, Dr. Drew debated sexologist Logan Levkoff on The Today Show, about whether Fifty Shades perpetuated violence against women; Levkoff said that while that is an important subject, this trilogy had nothing to do with it – this was a book about a consensual relationship. Dr. Drew commented that the book was "horribly written" in addition to being "disturbing" but stated that "if the book enhances women's real-life sex lives and intimacy, so be it...and who am I to argue... get out the nipple clips, momma, daddy is coming home (giggling to herself). All right, I will be good!! If this book gets women to explore their sexuality and voice their desires to their partners, then it's a good thing! ..but forgive me for saying this.. why do you need a poorly written book to explore your sexuality..when you have FOOD?
Just an aside here..if you are looking for female erotica..or just a few hot books to read, Anne Rice does it so much better under the pen names, A. N. Roquelaure (the Sleeping Beauty Triology: The
Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment, and Beauty's Release) and Anne Rampling (Exit to Eden -nothing like the movie with the same name-and the heroine is a Dom, just saying and Belinda) , she has written very compelling erotic literature. And its all not about BDSM.. but even wilder fantasies. These books were published in the 80's..just saying. And then of course, before her there was Anais Nin. Anaïs Nin (February 21, 1903 – January 14, 1977) was a French-Cuban author, based at first in France and later in the United States, who published her journals for more than 60 years worth, her erotic literature, and short stories. A great deal of her work, including Delta of Venus and Little Birds was published posthumously. READ THOSE..HOT STUFF!
Just a note...Titles of longer written works are underlined or italicized.
Longer written works include books, full-length plays, films, longer musical
compositions, and periodicals. Titles of radio and television series as well as works of art are
underlined or italicized. Just be consistant throughout your writing. (fat chance of that!)
some like it HOT!!
OK OK OK..back to grilling....I just read this crazy article on 50 things you can grill in foil...50...see the connection? 50 shades of grey/50 things to cook in foil?? Why is 50 the number they picked?? Can't a zillion things be cooked in foil? Like a shoe? The article might have been edited to read...50 edible things you can grill in foil or perhaps 50 yummy things you can grill in foil. And the book could have been titled 50 Enjoyable Shades of Grey.. But since I am dedicated to grilling this month ...SO GRILL ON!!
Basics About Grilling
Grilling, like any other kind of cooking, is a combination of technique, art, and practice. Here are some "barbecue rules" to help you safely master everything from burgers and hot dogs to salmon and dessert:
Rule 1:
Always keep your grill clean. This is essential for good-tasting food and general safety.
Rule 2:
Always keep a close eye on what you're grilling. Food can burn quickly, so be on guard and check food frequently.
Rule 3:
Cook vegetables and fruits at the outer, cooler edges of the grill since they tend to burn more quickly than meat.
Rule 4:
When grilling low-fat meats and other foods that can stick, apply oil or nonstick cooking spray to the grill grate before placing it on the grill and before the grill is heated.
Rule 5:
Turning food is essential to even cooking. However, turning too often slows cooking and can result in tough, dry food. Ideally, most fish and meats should be turned only once during cooking time.
Rule 6:
Soak bamboo skewers in water for at least 20 minutes before building kabobs to prevent skewers from burning.
Rule 7:
Spice up your food a good hour or two before it hits the grill. This marinating time allows the food to absorb the flavors.
Rule 8:
Don't apply sauces prior to grilling. Not only do they tend to drip onto the coals and cause flare-ups, but most also contain sugar, which will burn quickly and give the food a burnt taste. Consult the recipe to see when to begin basting; usually it's about 5 minutes before the end of grilling time.
Gas and charcoal each offer a different grilling experience. While some find it easier to grill with gas, charcoal has advantages of its own that you should consider. (I like charcoal, personally)
Charcoal Grill Tips
To light a charcoal fire, place the coals in a pyramid shape 20 to 30 minutes prior to cooking. The pyramid provides ventilation for the coals to catch fire.
To start with lighter fluid, soak the coals with about 1/2 cup fluid. Wait 1 minute to let the fluid soak in, then light with a match. NEVER use gasoline or kerosene because either one can cause an explosion.
Grilling Vegetables
"Vegetarian barbecue" is not a contradiction in terms, even though most of us think of meat when we think about grilling food. Vegetables are excellent choices for grilling because the fire brings out an appealingly sweet, smoky flavor that most people can't believe exists in a vegetable.
All kinds of veggie foods can be grilled, with great results. Beets become sweet. Potatoes get crisp on the outside and stay sweet and moist on the inside. Carrots and onions caramelize. And those vegetarian standbys -- veggie burgers; tofu and its fermented cousin, tempeh; and gluten-based seitan -- take on a smokiness that enhances their flavors. (OK..I promised you no crap..but this is borderline).
Select vegetables or vegetarian versions of meaty foods that are firm and that can hold up to slicing and grilling. Slice them in large, thick (at least 1/4-inch) sections, since small pieces can easily fall through the grid and into the fire. Cut zucchini lengthwise or on a long diagonal, for example. If you plan to prepare a recipe that calls for smaller pieces, try grilling them on skewers or wrapping them in foil packets. Vegetables such as peppers can simply be grilled whole, then peeled and sliced.
Because vegetables lack fat, they need oil, liquid, or some sort of marinade to prevent them from burning and sticking and to keep them moist. Brush vegetables with oil (preferably vegetable oil because it has a high smoke point) or a flavored oil mixture, such as a salad dressing or your own mixture of oil and herbs or other seasonings. Or marinate vegetables in a dressing or marinade of your choice for at least 30 minutes before grilling.
White wine, oil, garlic, onion, and celery salt make a good marinade, as do beer, oil, garlic, and cloves. Yogurt, garlic, pepper, curry, and cardamom can give an Indian flavor to grilled foods, and add nice color. Vinegar, soy sauce, oil, sugars, and ginger can give an Asian flair to your grilled foods. Lemon juice also makes a good base for grilling marinades. And to sweeten the deal, try pineapple juice, soy sauce, lemon juice, and garlic with seitan or firm vegetables. Orange juice, turmeric, ginger, garlic, and lemon zest make a light marinade for summer squash or tofu.
Consider the texture of the ingredient to determine marinating time. Mushrooms, summer squash, and extra-firm tofu may need only 30 to 40 minutes to marinate. Tougher ingredients, such as seitan, tempeh, sliced carrots, potatoes, or squash can marinate for a couple of hours.
To further prevent food from sticking to the grill and to aid in cleanup, spray the grid with nonstick cooking spray before heating (never spray into the fire) or wipe the grill rack with oil before you start cooking.
Special equipment is minimal. A special grill top is useful to keep veggie foods from tumbling into the fire. Metal or wood skewers are useful for making kebabs that are easily rotated on a grill. (Wood skewers should be soaked in water for at least 30 minutes prior to loading on the veggies so they won't burn on the grill.) Heavy-duty foil is the best type to use for lining grills or for wrapping food in packets for grilling.
why do we think men grow up at all??
1. Charcoal readily absorbs and holds moisture, so store it in a dry place.
2. To make cooking go faster, partially cook food in the microwave or on the range, and then immediately finish cooking the food on the grill. You'll get that barbecue flavor in less time.
3. Soak wooden skewers and toothpicks in water for at least 20 minutes before using them on a hot grill. The absorbed water will prevent the wood from burning.
4. The easiest way to clean a soiled grill is to scrub it with a stiff, wire brush while it's still warm.
5. While cooking, keep the fop and bottom grill vents open. Close them when cooking is finished to extinguish the coals.
6. Use tongs or a spatula to turn meat. Piercing it with a fork causes precious juices to escape.
ohh!! never hot enough for this!!!
How Hot Is It?
Your recipe says to heat the charcoal grill to 375°F. Like most cooks, you probably guess and then hope for the best. But there is a pretty reliable way to gauge the temperature of the coals without resorting to ripping the thermometer off the deck railing.
A quick and easy way to estimate the temperature of the coals is to hold the palm of your hand about four inches above the coals. Count the seconds you can hold your hand there before the heat forces you to pull it away. Then use the handy chart below to determine the temperature. (I love handy charts, but I seldom use them..I like looking at them succinct and neat..)
| Seconds | Coal Temperature |
| 2 | 375°F or more |
| 3 | 350° to 375° |
| 4 | 300° to 350° |
| 5 | 200° to 300° |
MEAT, POULTRY, AND FISH GRILLING CHART
Use the following as a guide to approximate cooking times. You can also determine how well cooked your meat is with a good meat thermometer. Medium-rare beef will register 150°F on a meat thermometer; poultry, 180°; pork, 160°; lamb, 160°.
| Meat | Thickness/Weight | Approx Cooking Time (over med heat) |
| Chicken | Boneless skinless breasts | 5 minutes per side |
| Chicken | Cut-up broiler/fryer
| 45 to 60 minutes |
| Fish fillets | 6 ounces | 3 to 5 minutes per side |
| Fish steaks | 1 inch | 5 minutes per side |
| Hamburgers | 1/2 inch | 14 to 16 minutes |
| Pork baby back ribs | 31/2 to 4 pounds | 30 to 45 minutes |
| Pork loin chops | 3/4 inch | 10 to 12 minutes |
| Porterhouse/T-bone steak | 3/4 inch | 14 to 17 minutes |
| Rib eye steak | 3/4 inch | 6 to 8 minutes |
| Sausages | | 10 minutes |
| Shrimp | Medium | 2 to 3 minutes per side |
| Sirloin steak | 3/4 inch | 13 to 16 minutes |
VEGETABLE GRILLING CHART
Brush vegetables lightly with vegetable oil and/or an oil-based salad dressing or marinade of your choice; season with sprinklings of chopped fresh or dried herbs, salt or pepper. Place large cuts directly on grill; grill smaller cuts in a grid basket.
| Vegetable | Preparation for Grilling | Grilling Time |
| Bell or chili peppers | Whole or halved, stemmed and seeded | 10 to 20 minutes |
| Corn on the cob | Unhusked; remove silk; Soak in cold water 30 minutes | 20 to 30 minutes |
| Eggplant | Cut into 1-inch thick rounds | 20 minutes |
| Mushrooms | Stems removed | 10 minutes |
| Onions | Peel; cut into halves, wedges, or rounds; insert wooden picks to prevent separating. | 20 to 30 minutes |
| Potatoes | Cut into 1/2-inch thick rounds | 10 to 12 minutes |
| Summer squash | Cut into halves or thick slices | 5 to 10 minutes |
| Tomatoes | Cut into halves or thick slices | 5 to 10 minutes |
Grilling Safety Tips
There are a few basic guidelines that you should follow to keep grilled foods safe.
First, always marinate meat, poultry or seafood in the refrigerator. If a marinade is to be brushed on food while it cooks, for safety's sake, do not brush it on during the last five minutes of grilling. If it will be served as a dipping sauce, be sure to boil it for 1 or 2 minutes before serving.
When grilling poultry, meat or seafood, transfer the grilled food to a clean plate, not to the plate used for the raw food.
Hamburger patties should be grilled until they are no longer pink in the center or reach an internal temperature of 160 degrees Fahrenheit.
Keep hot foods hot and cold foods cold when transporting or serving. Do not add fresh food to a serving bowl; replace the bowl instead. Throw away food that has been at room temperature for two hours or more. When in doubt, always throw it out.
I have made up my own "things to grill in foil you might actually want to eat!!" see?? the title is so much better!!
Grilling Tricks
Here are a few final tricks that you should keep in mind when you're grilling to bring out the best in your food:
- Charcoal briquettes are ready for cooking when they're glowing red and their surface is covered with gray ash. Coals will take anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes to reach this stage. When coals are ready, use tongs to spread them out for even heat.
- Cleanup is easier if the grill rack is coated with vegetable oil or nonstick cooking spray before grilling. However, do not spray the grill over the fire, as this could cause a flare-up.
So, first, foreplay..or how to make a foil packet... yeah I know I am actually putting directions on making a foil packet.. don't judge me..just love me!!
How to make a foil packet:
Lay a large sheet of
heavy-duty foil or a double layer of regular foil on a (now this is important..and you should memorize it...especially if you need directions on how to make a foil packet...FLAT being the keyword) flat surface.
Put the ingredients in the center of the foil. Bring the short ends of the
foil together and fold twice to seal; fold in the sides to seal, leaving room
for steam.
Grill whatever the hell you want.
Now I never said making a foil packet was rocket science..just said I would tell you!!
If you don’t have a grill or if the weather fails, you can always prepare these in the oven.
Always use good-quality foil, as you do not want the packages to split open during cooking.
Always cook on the edges of the grill so that the foil receives more indirect heat. This will stop the contents from overcooking or burning.
Now about the things you can cook in foil...here is the editor's dilemma..do I include things I would never eat?? hmmm .. a resounding NO.. just like I wouldn't let you read badly written female erotica.. I will not let you cook crap...hopefully.
In the true spirit of food erotica we will start with SPICED NUTS (stop laughing, Doug..he really is 12 sometimes)..
Spiced Nuts Toss 2 cups salted mixed nuts, 1 teaspoon chipotle
chile powder, 1/4 teaspoon each ground cumin and pepper, and 1 tablespoon butter
on a sheet of foil. Form a packet. Grill over medium heat, turning often, 8
minutes.
OK easy enough??? Read on....
Quesadillas Sprinkle shredded pepper jack cheese on one half of
a flour tortilla; top with chopped cooked (previously grilled, perhaps) chicken and cilantro and fold in
half to close. Repeat to make more; seal in individual foil packets. Grill over
medium heat, turning once, 5 minutes.
Garlic Shrimp Mix 1/2 stick softened butter, 1 cup chopped
parsley, 2 chopped garlic cloves, and salt and pepper. Toss with the juice of 1
lemon, 1 pound unpeeled large shrimp and a big pinch of red pepper flakes (optional, of course).
Divide between 2 foil packets. Grill over high heat, 8 minutes.
Popcorn Combine 1 tablespoon vegetable oil and 1/4 cup popcorn
kernels in a disposable pie pan. Seal the pan in foil, making a dome shape on
top. (Use 2 sheets of foil, if needed, to cover.) Grill over high heat, shaking,
until the popping stops, about 8 minutes. Season with salt. (why does this sound like it WOULD not work???)
Zucchini and Tomatoes Toss 2 sliced zucchini, 2 diced tomatoes,
4 smashed garlic cloves, olive oil, basil, and salt and pepper on a sheet of
foil. Form a packet. Grill over high heat, 10 minutes. Top with grated Parmesan. (add some eggplant or substitute it for zucchini, if you wish...)
Baby Beets Toss 1 pound halved baby beets with olive oil and
salt on a sheet of foil. Form a packet. Grill over medium heat, 30 minutes. Toss
with vinegar, mint and feta.
Mexican Corn Brush 4 ears corn with melted butter and sprinkle
with cotija cheese, cayenne and lime juice; seal in individual foil packets.
Grill over medium-high heat, turning a few times, 15 minutes. (racial profiling??)
Italian Corn Brush 4 ears corn with melted butter and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and lemon juice; seal in individual foil packets. Grill over medium-high heat, turning a few times, 15 minutes. (definitely racial profiling)
Salt-Roasted Potatoes Combine 2 cups kosher salt and 2 sprigs
chopped rosemary on a sheet of foil. Bury 1 1/2 pounds baby potatoes in the salt
mixture and form a packet. Grill over medium heat, covered, 45 minutes.
and what you have been waiting for, Doug...
Potatoes with Bacon Toss 1 pound halved baby potatoes, 1
chopped bacon slice and salt on a sheet of foil. Add 2 tablespoons water; form a
packet. Grill over medium-high heat, 20 minutes.
Spiced Potatoes Combine 2 cups kosher salt and 1/4 cup curry powder, Cajun seasoning or Old Bay Seasoning. on a sheet of foil. Bury 1 1/2 pounds baby potatoes in the salt mixture and form a packet. Grill over medium heat, covered, 45 minutes.
Cheesy Garlic Bread Mix 1/2 cup shredded Italian cheese blend,
2 tablespoons softened butter, 1 grated garlic clove and salt. Halve 1 loaf
French bread lengthwise and place cut-side up on a sheet of foil. Spread with
the cheese mixture and form a packet. Grill over medium-high heat, 10 minutes.
Baby Carrots Toss 1 bunch baby carrots, 1 chopped shallot, 1
teaspoon chopped tarragon, a pat of butter, and salt and pepper on a sheet of
foil. Form a packet. Grill over medium-high heat, 15 minutes.
some recipes
Garlic Steamed Vegetables
12 spears of asparagus (4 per person)
2 yellow squashes (sliced)
4 heads of garlic (kept whole but sliced to remove the tops)
Olive oil
Sea salt
Pepper
Aluminum foil
Method
1 - Take four pieces of foil and place four asparagus spears and a few slices squash onto each piece.
2 - Season the contents of each package with salt and pepper, and drizzle over a little olive oil.
3 - Wrap the parcels tightly so the vegetables will steam inside the packages. Wrap the heads of garlic separately in foil.
4 - Cook the garlic on the grill for about 25 minutes. About halfway through the cooking time, add the packages with the vegetables.
5 - At the end of the cooking time, open the packages and place the vegetables on a serving plate along with the baked head of garlic.
6 - Serve after squeezing the cooked garlic directly over the vegetables.
before cooking
Doug has given me this very YUMMY recipe for cooking potatoes on the grill (and he thinks I don't pay attention...) It is simple enough..read on, my little foodies...
1-2 potatoes per person (baking size... and possibly 3 if you are hungry)
sliced onion..you have to judge how much..sorry
butter
foil
Take each potato and slice horizontally several times..place on foil (enough to wrap around said potato with extra room for onion and butter) slip a piece on sliced onion between each cut..a few pats of butter on top..salt and pepper..wrap up the foil..make sure it can't leak (that is another post about fire hazards and fire fighters)...cook till tender and soft and yummy..and even a little crispy he assures me.
after
ahh food porn at its finest...carbs, fat, and salt!
" Does that make you horny, baby??" (done in his best Austin Powers voice).
Well, the next recipe does!!!
Clarified Butter-baked Lobster Tail
Ingredients:
4 lobster tails (1 per person; fresh is best, but if they are frozen, allow to defrost)
1/2 cup of unsalted butter
1 tsp sweet paprika
2 large garlic cloves (finely minced)
1 large lemon (quartered)
Salt
Pepper
Aluminum foiloil
Method:
1 - To make the clarified butter, heat the unsalted butter in a saucepan over a low temperature.
2 - After a few minutes, a foam of milk solids will form on the top. Remove this with a slotted spoon; what remains will be clarified butter.
3 - Add the garlic and the paprika to the clarified butter, and cook gently for a further five minutes making sure the butter does not burn.
4 - Oil the dull side of four sheets of aluminum foil with oil.
5 - Lay one lobster tail of each piece of foil, and turn up the sides so the melted butter does not drip out.
6 - Squeeze a quartered lemon over each tail, and season with salt and pepper.
7 - Pour a little of the clarified butter mixture over each tail, and bring the sides of the foil together to seal the package completely.
8 - Retain some of the clarified butter mixture for presentation.
9 - Cook on the edges of the grill for 15-20 minutes.
10 - When the lobster is cooked, open the packages, and drain off the marinade.
11 - With a pair of strong kitchen shears, split the shells of the lobster tails by cutting toward the tail.
12 - Remove the meat in one piece, and drizzle with some of the retained clarified butter mixture before serving.
ohhh lobster..now we mean MAINE lobster not some poser lobster ... it is the food of the gods!! and if it isnt..it should be..
Baked Asian Chicken
Ingredients (Serves 4):
4 chicken breasts (with skin and bones removed)
4 green chilies (seeded and finely minced)
1 cup enoki mushrooms
4 cloves of garlic
2 inches of fresh ginger (peeled and cut into fine strips)
4 tbsp dark soy sauce
2 tbsp honey
2 tsp sesame oil
Cooking oil
Aluminum foil
Method:1. Make three slashes on the surface of each chicken breast and place is a shallow baking dish.
2 - Combine the chilies, garlic, ginger, soy sauce, honey, and sesame oil.
3 - Pour half the marinade over the chicken. Cover with plastic wrap and chill for at least an hour.
4 - Drain the chicken breasts and discard the used half of the marinade.
5 - Coat the nonshiny side of four 10-inch square pieces of foil with a little cooking oil.
6 - Place a single chicken breast at the center of each piece of foil, and turn up the sides of the foil so the marinade does not spill out when you add it.
7 - Pour the remaining half of the marinade onto each chicken breast, making sure each piece is covered with chilies, garlic and ginger.
8 - Top the chicken breasts with a handful of the enoki mushrooms, and seal the packages tightly.
9 - Place the packages on the edges of the grill, and cook for 30-40 minutes.
10 - Remove the packets from the grill, and carefully cut open. You can brown the chicken breasts directly on the grill if you want a little more color.
11 - Serve with the mushrooms and a little of the marinade they cooked in.
Note: You can also reduce the marinade in a saucepan on the grill if you would like a more sticky coating.
And yes, I do like it sticky!!
If those recipes didnt get your mojo working...this one surely will!!! mmmm bananas, chocolate and booze... ohhh YEAH, baby!!!!!
Bourbon Bananas In Chocolate Sauce
Ingredients
4 large bananas (ripe but not black)
1/2 stick of unsalted butter
12 squares of dark chocolate
3 tsp brown sugar
1/2 cup bourbon (you can also use rum, whisky or even tequila)
Aluminum foil
Vanilla ice cream
Method
1 - In a saucepan, melt the butter, and then add the chocolate squares and sugar.
2 - Cook over a gentle heat, stirring all the time, until the contents combine into a sauce.
3 - Peel the bananas and slice lengthwise.
4 - Place each banana on a 10-inch square piece of foil.
5 - Turn the sides up to retain the liquid, and drizzle each banana with a good amount of bourbon.
6 - Seal the packages and cook on the edges of the grill for 15 minutes.
7 - Open the packages and drain any juices into the chocolate sauce.
8 - Place the bananas on a plate, drizzle with the chocolate sauce, and serve with a large dollop of ice cream.
