Is chocolate better than a man? Desserts almost better than sex

 the art of seduction at it's finest

 

 

 

 

    Candy's dandy but liquor is quicker.  How true!  But why choose?  I have included some recipes to tantalize the tastebuds among other things. 

     We all know chocolate is a substitute for sex. And liquor is a substitute for everything else.

     Is chocolate better than a man?...depends on the man..and the chocolate.  Look at the facts:  

• All the good chocolate isn't already taken.
• Its sole purpose is to give you pleasure.
• When you’ve had enough Chocolate, you can put it away in its box.
• Chocolate won't ask "Am I the best?" or "How was I?"
• Chocolate might make you fat, but it will never make you pregnant. 
• You can spot the nutty ones immediately.
• Chocolate can be sweet without having ulterior motives.
• You always know where your Chocolate is.
• If you want to make it hard, all you have to do is just stick it in the fridge. 
• You can have more than one Chocolate a day, and nobody will call you a slut. 
• If you and your best friend like the same Chocolate, it’s not a problem. 
• All your friends understand what you see in it. 
• With Chocolate, you can admit that size really matters. 
• "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 
• With Chocolate, you never have to fake being satisfied! 
• The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
• Chocolate is always there for you when you need it! 

    And if that's not enough to convince you..read on..

    When it comes to tongues, melting chocolate is better than a passionate kiss, scientists have found:

   Couples in their 20s (why not 50's??? pfft!!..cause 50 yr olds prefer kissing)  had their heart rates and brains monitored whilst they first melted chocolate in their mouths and then kissed.  Chocolate caused a more intense and longer lasting "buzz" than kissing, and doubled volunteers' heart rates. The research was carried out by Dr David Lewis, of the University of Sussex.  Dr Lewis said: "There is no doubt that chocolate beats kissing hands down when it comes to providing a long-lasting body and brain buzz. "A buzz that, in many cases, lasted four times as long as the most passionate kiss."  He said substances in chocolate were already known to have a psychoactive effect, but that allowing it to melt on your tongue could be the secret to maximising the buzz. The study also found that as the chocolate started melting, all regions of the brain received a boost far more intense and longer lasting than the excitement seen with kissing. Although women are generally thought to be bigger fans of chocolate than men, the research found the same reactions to chocolate in both sexes. Dr Lewis said: "These results really surprised and intrigued us. Psychologist Sue Wright said: "Chocolate contains phenylethylamine which can raise levels of endorphins, the pleasure-giving substances, in the brain. "It also contains caffeine which has a stimulatory effect on the brain. "This would explain why chocolate can give people a buzz, and why people can become addicted to it." 

   In my humble opinon, kissing always beats the chocolate bar, maybe I'm choosing the wrong chocolate! But then obviously none of them had kissed my wonderful, incredible, amazing honey. 
    Those who doubt the scientific facts are, according to Dr. Mark Pellegrino of the World Health Organization, “only lying to themselves.” Dr. Pellegrino’s team found that lovers of rich, dark chocolate also tended to be trustworthy, dependable, intelligent, multi-talented, and extremely attractive. On the contrary, those who claimed to prefer vanilla were often shifty, cowardly, unethical, physically compromised, and raised in broken homes. (ok so this last bit is a joke, albiet a funny one). 
    So in the spirit of bring you cutting edge research...I present some awesome chocolate recipes..enjoy, babies.

enjoy him too..yum

 

 

 

Ooey-Gooey Melty-Minty Brownies

 

What’s deep, rich chocolate on the top and bottom, creamy melted mint in the middle, and simply delicious all the way through? These mint-filled fudge brownies, a WOW dinner-party dessert when you serve them warm from the oven. Or serve ’em fully cooled; they’re just as tasty.

 

 

1 cup (8 ounces, 2 sticks) unsalted butter

2 1/4 cups (15 3/4 ounces) sugar

1 1/4 cups (3 3/4 ounces) Dutch-process cocoa

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon espresso powder, optional

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

4 large eggs

1 1/2 cups (6 1/4 ounces) King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour

24 ounces dark chocolate mint cup candies* or about 16 ounces dark chocolate-covered peppermint patties

 

*Dark chocolate mint cups look like Reese’s Pieces (miniature) peanut butter cups, only they’re filled with mint instead of peanut butter. Peppermint patties (I used York brand) are thinner (which is why you need less of them by weight). They still provide a nice mint "ooze."

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 9" x 13" pan, or two 9" round cake pans. Line them with parchment, and grease the parchment. You can skip the parchment if you like, but it does ensure the sticky brownies will release from the pan in one piece. Note: If you’re not sure your entire audience likes mint brownies, use just half the candies, and make one 9" round pan of mint brownies, the other plain.

 

In a medium-sized microwave-safe bowl, or in a saucepan set over low heat, melt the butter, then add the sugar and stir to combine. Return the mixture to the heat (or microwave) briefly, just until it's hot (about 110°F to 120°F), but not bubbling; it'll become shiny looking as you stir it. Heating this mixture a second time will dissolve more of the sugar, which will yield a shiny top crust on your brownies.

 

Stir in the cocoa, salt, baking powder, espresso powder, and vanilla. Whisk in the eggs, stirring until smooth; then add the flour, again stirring until smooth. Spoon the batter into the 9" x 13" pan, or divide it evenly between the 9" round pans. Space the mint candies evenly on the surface of the batter, pressing them down in so just their tops are showing.

 

Bake the brownies in a preheated 350°F oven for 28 minutes, until a cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean, or with just a few moist crumbs clinging to it. The brownies should feel set on the edges and in the center (barely); the mint cups will be molten, and will have sunk and made little pockets in the brownies. Remove the brownies from the oven.

 

If you’ve made the brownies in two round pans, after 30 minutes turn them out of the pans onto a piece of parchment. How do you do this? First, loosen the edges with a table knife. Then place a cooling rack on top of the pan, and turn pan and rack upside down, so that the brownies drop onto the rack. Then put a piece of parchment over the upside-down brownies (you want to get them right side up again), and a plate or rack atop the parchment, and flip the whole business again, so the melting pools of chocolate are on top, and sitting on a piece of parchment.

 Note: You can skip all of this and cut them into serving pieces right in the pan, if you like; but if you feel pretty confident with the flipping, being out of the pan does give you more elbow room as you cut them into serving pieces.

 

Cut the brownies into squares (if they’re in the rectangular pan) or, using a 2" to 2 ¼" biscuit cutter, into rounds, removing each from the pan and putting it on a serving plate as soon as you cut it. Top with vanilla ice cream, if desired.

Yield: Two dozen 2 ¼" square brownies, or 2 dozen 2 ¼" round brownies (with plenty of scraps left over for the baker!)

 

Note: The brownies’ mint centers will flow like lava if you serve them as soon as you cut them. You may also choose not to cut them until they’ve cooled for 60 to 90 minutes; that’s fine. The center will still ooze nicely, though it won’t flow.

 

 

 

Pools of melty, chocolate-y, peanut butter-y goodness in a scrumptious chocolate cookie.

 

 Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies

 

1/2 cups  Unbleached All-Purpose Flour

1/2 cup unsweetened baking cocoa or Dutch-process cocoa

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter, softened

1/4 cup smooth peanut butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 large egg

2 tablespoons water

1 1/2 cups mini peanut butter cups

 

 

1) Preheat the oven to 375°F. Lightly grease (or line with parchment) two baking sheets.

2) In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt.

3) In another bowl, beat together the sugars, butter, and peanut butter until light and fluffy.

4) Beat in the vanilla, egg, and water, then stir in the dry ingredients, blending well.

5) Stir in the mini peanut butter cups.

6) Scoop rounded tablespoonfuls of dough onto the prepared baking sheets; a tablespoon cookie scoop works well here. Flatten each cookie to about 1/2" thick.

7) Bake the cookies for 7 to 9 minutes, or until they're set and you can smell chocolate. Remove them from the oven, and cool on a rack.

Yield: about 3 dozen cookies.

 

 

 

Chocolate Turtle Cookies

 

Chocolate, caramel, and pecans are a combination happily celebrated in candy, cake... and these cookies.

1/2 cup (1 stick, 4 ounces) unsalted butter, softened
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, optional
3/4 cup (3 3/4 ounces) confectioners' sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup (3 ounces) Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
1/3 cup (1 ounce) Dutch-process cocoa
1/2 cup (1 1/2 ounces) pecan meal
21/2 cups (8 ounces) whole pecans (120 whole nuts)
4 ounces caramel, or 12 individual caramels, each cut in half
24 chocolate disks, semisweet or bittersweet, about 4 to 5 ounces chocolate* (a disc of chocolate candy)

 

For a generous coating of chocolate, use Belcolade Noir Superieur discs. If you prefer more caramel than chocolate, use Guittard semisweet wafers.

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease (or line with parchment) two baking sheets.

In a medium-sized bowl, cream together the butter, salt, cinnamon, confectioners' sugar, and vanilla. Sift the flour and cocoa together to remove any lumps. Beat into the creamed mixture, then mix in the pecan meal.

Place 24 clusters of 5 pecans each on the prepared pans, leaving a dime-sized circle empty in the center of each cluster. Divide the dough into 24 balls, 1/2 ounce each. Flatten the balls into 1 1/2" disks, and place atop the pecan clusters, pressing down slightly.

Bake the cookies for 10 to 12 minutes, until you start to smell chocolate. You won't see much change in color; the cookies should remain soft, as they'll crisp as they cool. Remove the cookies from the oven, place 1/2 a caramel (or a thin, nickel-sized dollop, if you're using block caramel) on top of each of the cookies. Immediately top with a chocolate disk; the caramel and chocolate will melt and flatten. Cool the cookies for several hours before storing in airtight containers. Yield: 24 cookies.



Drunken Brownies

 

The Bailey's flavor comes through wonderfully and the brownies are moist and dense.

 

 

 

 

RECIPE

 

Ingredients

• 6 oz. Cream Cheese, at room temperature
• 3 Tbsp. Bailey's Irish Cream
• 1 Cup Sugar
• 1/2 Cup Flour
• 1/3 Cup Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
• 1/4 tsp. Baking Powder
• 1/4 tsp. Salt
• 2 Eggs
• 1/2 Cup (1 Stick) Unsalted Butter
• 1 tsp. Vanilla
• 1 tsp.  Bailey's Irish Cream

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350. If using an 8x8 pan, cut a sheet of parchment paper long enough to hang over the sides and place it into the pan. If using a muffin top pan, lightly spray each compartment with cooking spray.

In the bowl of the stand mixer with the wire whisk attached, cream together the cream cheese and the 3 Tbsp. bourbon cream until well combined. Set aside.

In a large bowl, combine the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Mix until combined, then add the eggs, butter, vanilla and remaining Tbsp. Bailey's and stir until the batter is well mixed and free of lumps.

Pour the batter into the baking pan (or alternately, scoop about 1.5 Tbsp of batter into each compartment of the muffin top pan). Spread evenly.

Using a rubber spatula, spoon the cream cheese mixture on top and swirl into the batter.

Bake for 45 minutes (or 30 minutes in a muffin top pan).

Remove brownies from the oven, allow to cool 5-10 minutes then transfer to a wire rack and cool to room temperature. Refrigerate brownies at least two hours before serving, and serve chilled.

 

 

 

Better than Sex Cake..chocolate version

 

I prefer to call this Almost Better than Sex

 

 

 

 

Cake Ingredients:

2 cups sugar

1 and 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup cocoa powder

1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 and 1/2 teaspons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs

1 cup milk

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup boiling water

14 oz sweetened condensed milk, for topping.

 

Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Prepare two 9-inch cake pans by spraying with cooking spray, lining with parchment circles and spraying parchment with additional cooking spray.

 

In a large bowl (I use my stand mixer), sift together sugar. flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla and beat on medium speed for 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water. This batter is very thin, so don't be alarmed. Pour batter into prepared pans.

 

Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until cake tester comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes, then remove cakes from pans and place on a sheet of parchment paper to cool. This parchment paper will help greatly in assembling the cake.

 

After cake has cooled slightly, use the handle of a wooden spoon to poke holes in the top of the cake. Evenly space the holes around the cake, about 1 or 1.5 inches apart.

 

Pour half of the can of sweetened condensed milk over each of the cakes, using a spatula to spread it evenly and guide it into the holes. It might spill over the sides of the cake, which is fine.

 

 

Homemade Fudge Sauce Ingredients:

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

2/3 cup water

1/3 cup sugar

6 tablespoons corn syrup

Pinch of salt

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

 

Using a double boiler (or a glass dish over but not touching simmering water, or the microwave) melt the butter and chocolate. Stir frequently to avoid burning. Meanwhile, in a small, heavy saucepan, heat the water to boiling. Pour the chocolate and butter mixture slowly into the boiling water and stir. Add the sugar, corn syrup and salt, mix (or whisk) until smooth. Turn the heat up until the mixture just starts to boil, then adjust the heat down as low as you can to maintain a constant boil. Stir frequently. Allow the mixture to boil for 8-9 minutes, then remove from heat and allow to cool for 15 minutes. Stir in the vanilla.

Spread half the fudge mixture over the tops of each of the cake rounds.

 

Whipped Cream Ingredients:

1 and 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

2 teaspoons vanilla or the seeds of 1 vanilla bean

1/2 cup confectioners sugar

 

In a clean and cold bowl of a stand mixer, whip the whipping cream using the whisk attachment until stiff peaks form. Add the vanilla and confectioners sugar and whip until combined.

 

To assemble cake:

Place the bottom layer (which is now covered in condensed milk and fudge sauce) on to the serving plate. Spread half of the whipping cream over just the top of the cake. Add the top layer of cake, and press down gently. Spread the remaining whipping cream over the top layer. 
 

Topping:

1 cup toffee bits

1/4 cup mini chocolate chips

1/2 cup caramel sauce, if desired (I omitted.)

 

Sprinkle toffee bits and chocolate chips over the top layer of the cake, and drizzle with caramel sauce if desired.

 

Store cake in refrigerator for 30-60 minutes before serving. Store the cake in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.

 

 

 

 

 

Better Than Sex Cake....vanilla version

 

 

 

 

 

1	package	cake mix, white or yellow
1	cup	pineapple, canned, crushed	undrained
1/2	cup	sugar
1	package	vanilla pudding mix, instant
1	cup	coconut
8	ounces	whipped cream
1	cup	pecans

 

 

Directions

Bake cake according to directions is a 9x13 inch pan.
In a saucepan over medium heat, combine pineapple with juice, sugar, pudding, and coconut.
Simmer 5 minutes.
Using a wooden spoon handle, poke holes in warm cake.
Slowly pour pineapple mixture over cale and spread evenly.
Cool. Spread whipped cream evenly over cake and sprinkle with nuts.
Chill at least 2 hours before serving.