You may have noticed the lack of posting by Doug of Doug and June fame. He is not a slacker. He is actually quite the workaholic..and we love that about him. He hasn't posted yet..although I assure you all posts are filtered through him for editing and content..as well as grammar and syntax.
Let me tell you a little about him. He is a wonderful guy and a incredible dad and a brave firefighter and a talented artist and can do anything well (I think)..has exquisite taste in clothes, music and food also a quizzical, but hilarious sense of humor. He is very patient and kind (he deals with me after all and I have not been found with my feet in a sack of cement at the bottom of a lake yet). He has a quiet demeanor and a generous heart. If he has a fault at all (and that's doubtful)..it's his unhealthy relationship with bacon. However, due to his numerous other outstanding qualities, I overlook that.
I once asked Doug which he liked better me or bacon..his answer was "depends on how hungry I am". Such a MAN!
We have decided that most men love bacon...if not all. (Yes, I believe even Eddie Vedder, self proclaimed vegan, has a stash of bacon for emergencies). It has also come to our attention that women spends hoards of money on expensive perfumes, when in all actuality, just rubbing some cooked bacon behind your ears and knees would be more effective.
So it got us thinking..exactly what bacon products are available for the "baconites"...Well Doug found a bacon bra and panties...sometimes he is such a MAN. (pfft..you must need small boobs for a bacon bra..and that is precisely WHY you need a bacon enhancement).
I actually found bacon lube (described as a delicious personal lubricant for porkier porking-I kid you not-)...called J&D's...I want royalties....looks up her lawyers number.
AND then I found bacon cologne.....
Yes bacon flavored lip balm..dont even ask!!!
Bacon sneakers...... ohhh boy... YUK
Bacon Flavored Soda?
bacon toothpaste
and what would life be without bacon vodka??
Probably the most interesting thing we found was Squeezable Bacon in plastic bottle...now I think this is just weird...Doug had other viewpoints... So of course I go directly to the source..the squeezable bacon website..
Wow,a very cool product, the Squeezable Bacon, it was used as an April Fool, but it is real! (June is not believing this)...
You can squeeze a 100% bacon paste from a tube.It is made in Sweden and is fully cooked 100% bacon, made from U.S. bred swine. And I have found it has incredible feature that it can store 12 years - shelf Life of 12 years and no refrigeration needed.
"Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon (well there is an interesting statement..j), and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do! "
..well I am not sure about this ..I went to Amazon..com and couldn't find it....
BUT I did find this......SPREADABLE BACON
And I quote.. "What the heck is that? Is that spreadable bacon? Bacon jam? Wait, we might need a moment? Okay, we're good now. Yes, it's spreadable, delicious, mouth-watering, succulent, and savory bacon! And you must be asking yourself how this delicious hybrid of food came into existence. We didn't question it because it's just so amazing; but we knew that others would be extremely curious. Well, what happened was a huge vat of supremely delicious bacon got rendered down, a few spices were thrown in; was left simmering for six hours, was given a quick puree, blast chilled, received a sprinkle of fairy dust? And presto! Spreadable bacon has graced us with its presence. We're not sure we've heard of anything more delectable. Spread it on a burger, a sandwich, or even your tongue. Go ahead, no one is looking. "
Think of all the other places you can spread it-to get your honey's attention!!!!..j sigh
ok back to the subject...So look forward to the baconalia written by Doug....you may have to wait..but it will be well worth it!!!
I have my obligation to post my sexy firefighter picture (NOT DOUG) for my friends of the female persuasion...
He is from the Toronto Fire Department...
but again NOT DOUG.... dream on ladies...no hot pics of Doug..
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