Slushes..not just for kids

    How is summer treating you?  Has it been long and hot..sticky and sultry .. or is it just lazy and sultry??  Everything really depends on attitude, doesn't it?  You can love summer, embrace it for all the wonderful outdoor things you can do.. or not do as the case maybe- no snow shovelling, no big boots, no heavy coats, no being stuck indoors, no power outages, no frozen finger tips or noses...see? Summer isnt so bad. 
    This summer has been positively balmy here in the Northeast US.  Amd hot weather means one thing......FROZEN DRINKS!! 

What can I tell you my little foodees, I love slush.  Yes, I know you may think it's kid stuff but its not...well it is but grown ups or semi-grown ups.  Slush is a delicious icy concoction that tastes like dessert..here we have some X rated slushies..are you over 21?  Then read on...

Watermelon Slush

3 cups diced watermelon
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon sugar
1 cup crushed ice
1/2 cup water

Blend watermelon, lime juice, sugar, ice and water in a blender until smooth.

Apple Lemon Slushie

1/4 cup frozen apple juice concentrate

2 tablespoons lemon juice

1 cup crushed ice

Combine apple juice concentrate, lemon juice and ice in a blender and blend until slushy.

 

 

 

 

Strawberry Rum Slush

6 ozs frozen limeade concentrate (thawed)

6 ozs rum

1 pt strawberries (fresh, hulled)

1-2 tbsps sugar (optional)

14 ice (cubes)

slice lime

 

Combine 1/2 can limeade, 3 oz. rum, 1/2 pint strawberries and 1 T. sugar in blender. Mix at medium speed, adding 7 ice cubes 1 at a time until smooth and very thick. Pour into large pitcher. Repeat with remaining ingredients except lime slices. Add to pitcher and stir to blend well. Garnish with lime slices and serve.

Gin Slushie

9 cups water

2 cups white sugar

1 (12 fluid ounce) can frozen orange juice concentrate

1 (12 fluid ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate

2 cups gin

lemon/lime soda/pop/tonic (depending on where you live)

 In a saucepan, combine water and sugar. Bring to a boil and let boil for 15 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

Stir in the orange juice concentrate, lemonade concentrate and gin. Pour into a plastic container and freeze overnight.

To serve, scoop 1/2 cup slush into a glass and top with lemon-lime soda.

 

 

 

Vodka Slush

2 cups white sugar

7 cups water

2 tablespoons instant tea powder

1 (12 fluid ounce) can frozen orange juice concentrate

1 (12 fluid ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate

2 cups cold water

2 cups vodka

1 liter lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage

In a 6 quart pot combine sugar and 7 cups water. Bring to boil and stir until sugar
dissolves. Remove from heat. Stir in tea powder while hot. Add orange juice concentrate, lemonade concentrate and 2 cups cold water. Chill in refrigerator.

When cold mix in vodka. Pour into a plastic container leaving room on top for expansion. Freeze or 24 hours.

To serve, scoop about 1 cup into a tall glass and quickly stir in 1/3 cup lemon-lime soda.

 

 

 

 

Sangria Slush

1 1/2 cups water

1 (12 ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate

1 (750 milliliter) bottle red wine

Mix red wine, lemonade concentrate, and water in a large pitcher. Freeze 8 hours or overnight.

Best Frozen Daiquiris

1 (12 fluid ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed

1 (6 ounce) can frozen limeade concentrate

4 1/4 cups water

1 (750 milliliter) bottle light rum

In a large freezable container, mix lemonade concentrate, limeade concentrate, water and rum. Freeze for 24 hours.

When frozen, break up with a wooden spoon, stir and serve. Store remainder in freezer until needed. Be sure to stir before serving, as the alcohol tends to settle to the bottom.

 

Mango Passion Fruit Frozen Punch for Adults

2 (12 fluid ounce) cans passion fruit frozen concentrate

6 cups water

4 mangos - peeled, seeded, and cubed

12 fluid ounces vodka

In plastic pitcher empty passion fruit juice and 6 cups water. Mix well. Toss in the mango chunks. Pour in vodka. Mix again and place in freezer for at least 12 hours

The vodka will prevent mixture from freezing completely. Mix again after removing from freezer. Serve immediately.

Grandma's Whiskey Slush

6 black tea bags

2 cups boiling water

1 cup white sugar

1 (6 ounce) can frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed

5 cups water

2 cups whiskey

1 (12 fluid ounce) can grapefruit flavored soda

Steep the tea bag in boiling water for about 2 minutes. Remove and discard bags. In a medium bowl, stir together the tea, sugar, orange juice concentrate and water until sugar is dissolved. Stir in whiskey. Cover and place in the freezer for at least 4 hours.

Scoop out spoonfuls into a glass and top with a little bit of grapefruit soda.

Fuzzy Navel Slush

9 cups water

1 1/2 cups white sugar (optional)

1 (12 fluid ounce) can frozen orange juice concentrate

1 (12 fluid ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate

1 pint peach schnapps

1 (2 liter) bottle lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage

In a large freezer container, combine water and sugar. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Stir in orange juice concentrate, lemonade concentrate and peach schnapps. Cover and freeze for 4 hours or overnight.

To serve, fill glass 3/4 of the way full with slush, then top off with lemon-lime soda, and stir.

Bourbon Slush Recipe

Ingredients:

2 cups of freshly-brewed strong black tea*
1 1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 (6-ounce) can frozen orange juice concentrate
1 (12-ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate
2 cup water
2 to 3 cups bourbon whiskey**
7-Up, ginger ale, or any lemon-lime carbonated beverage, chilled * Steep 3 tea bags in 2 cups boiling water for 3 minutes.

** The amount you use depends on how strong you want your drink to be. I usually use 2 cups of bourbon whiskey. Your drink will be as good as the bourbon you use, so use a good-quality bourbon.

Preparation:

In a large, freezer-safe container, mix together the tea, sugar, orange juice concentrate, lemonade concentrate, water, and whiskey. Place in freezer and freeze at least 6 hours. NOTE: The bourbon will keep the mixture from freezing solid.

When bourbon mixture is frozen (as frozen as it can get with liquor in it), take it out of freezer and blend the mixture in your blender for a few seconds. Return to freezer for at least 1 hour.

When ready to serve, remove frozen mixture from the freezer and let stand for approximately 5 minutes.

To serve, scoop (an ice cream scoop works great) bourbon slush to fill a glass approximately 3/4 full. Top with lemon-lime beverage of your choice. Don't stir, but let beverage coagulate with the frozen tea before drinking.

NOTE: Bourbon Slush may be served in any type of glass, but typically a old-fashioned glass is used.

Makes enough for approximately 8 to 10 servings (depending on how big a glass you use).

Redneck Humor...I know I am bad...

  THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY

* I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
* Duct tape won't fix that.
* Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
* We don't keep firearms in this house.
* Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
* You can't feed that to the dog.
* I thought Graceland was tacky.
* No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
* Wrasslin's fake.
* Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
* We're vegetarians.
* Do you think my hair is too big?
* I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
* Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
* Who's Richard Petty?
* Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
* Deer heads detract from the decor.
* Spitting is such a nasty habit.
* I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
* Trim the fat off that steak.
* Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
* The tires on that truck are too big.
* I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad.
* I've got it all on a floppy disk.
* Unsweetened tea tastes better.
* Would you like you fish poached or broiled?
* My fiancée, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
* I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
* Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
* Checkmate.
* She's too old to be wearing a bikini.
* Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
* Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
* I don't have a favorite college team.
* Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
* I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
* Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
* Elvis who?

how can you make this up????

redneck prom

Does anyone else think this is just so wrong???



REDNECK PICK UP LINES

Did you just fart??? Cause you blew me away!

My love for you is like diarrhea..I just can't hold it in.

Baby, you're finer than a new set of snow tires.

Baby, you are prettier than a beer truck pullling up in the driveway.

Are your parents retarded??  Cause you sure are special!

You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hey baby!! Nice tooth!

Your eyes are bluer than Windex.

Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

OK OK OK enough purient humor!!!  I hope no one is offended... but then I never claimed to be politically correct!!

(If I haven't offended you...trust me at some point I probably will)

If you die tomorrow, what is on your computer???

Well that is an very interesting question..so I looked around on my computer...many many pictures of food...many many pictures of Doug... many many pictures of my family and friends...a ton of eclectic music mp3's....lots of pictures Diane has sent me of lots of things..and many oddly funny cartoons and jokes.. I realized as weird as it all may be..it's nothing those who know and love me would be surprised at..

I am a sensuous & crazy woman who loves life's luxuries - tastes, smells, sounds, feelings, images... I need to indulge this part of me- delicious, tantalizing food and drink; gently scented candles, perfumes, powders, incense; wonderful music from sexy, sulty jazz to bone-shaking blues; soft, comfortable clothing and richly textured bedding and surrounded by beautiful, peaceful colors. I am a dreamer with my feet firmly planted in the stars.  When I love a man I devote my self to him, his pleasure, his joy and him alone..he becomes my everything!! And I want it that way! I encourage to explore what makes you happy... not what others say should make you happy.. but what do YOU love?

I love music...and I have always been a sucker for a mean guitar...music is a way to express my soul....my life is "interesting right now"... "I got this feeling that something ain't right.. I am trying to make sense of it all, but I can see it makes no sense at all..I don't think I can take any more..I have clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right" like I said "INTERESTING"...hahahaha I am wiccan but not spooky... (very much)... and I collect teddybears, bunnies and seashells.I love Cape Cod- all seasons. I love Disneyworld...I would live there if I could! lol ..

I believe that we are magic, all things are possible, life is precious,  peace is reasonable, laughter is special, miracles are everywhere, blessings are divine, love is the best thing ever.

NOT CAPABLE OF BEING SILENCED OR SUBDUED (ask Doug or Diane).  If I am with you it will be because I WANT to NOT because HAVE to. If I am your friend,  it's because I love you unconditionally. The things I love best have no price tag. The people I love best are more precious to me than diamonds.

I found this..hysterically funny..at least I think so...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second!

Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: { [logged off]

I guess to see the humor in this you have to understand cybering...hehehehe.. trust me this is too damn funny!!

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem...be sure you aren't surrounded by assholes.

The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy it.  The second time you look to see if the basement has termites.  It's the same with men.  ~Lupe Velez


A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is.  I don't think it works like that.  I think it's the opposite.  I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become.  ~Anita Wise

Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.  ~Mignon McLaughlin

DRUNKEN MEATBALLS..or Honest Ociffer, I was just eating meatballs

MMMM drunken meatballs...sounds odd tastes yummy...believe me...I would never lie to you..especially about food..now about using liquor in recipes...DO IT!!!  really...truly.. and the cardinal rule about using liquor in recipes..DON'T USE ANYTHING UNLESS YOU WOULD PUT IN A GLASS AND DRINK IT!!!  That goes for beer, wine and hard liquors... use top shelf or don't bother.

who wrote that????

DRUNKEN MEATBALLS

3 lbs. hamburger meat

1 lg. grated onion

1 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

1/2 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. season salt

1 (12 oz.) can beer

1 (14 oz.) bottle ketchup

1/4 c. water

Mix hamburger with spices and onion. Shape bite-size meatballs and drop into sauce made up of beer, ketchup, and water. Simmer until sauce thickens (at least 2 hours). Serve as hors d'oeuvres in chafing dish.

DRUNKEN MEATBALLS part 2

 Bourbon Whiskey Meatballs

1 pound Bag Frozen Meatballs (cheater!!! lol)
½ cups Ketchup (Heaping)
½ cups Brown Sugar, Packed
¼ cups Bourbon Whiskey
1 teaspoon Fresh Lemon Juice
1 teaspoon Worcestershire Sauce

NOTE: 1 bag of (1 pound) frozen meatballs is only about 18 to 20 larger size meatballs. That is perfect for a small get-together. But if you’re going to a larger party, you might want to get TWO bags of meatballs, and in that case you would then DOUBLE the above recipe.

In a medium bowl, combine all ingredients except your meatballs. Mix up really well.
Place your frozen meatballs into your crock pot, and pour the whiskey sauce in on top. Mix it up all around so each meatball is coated with the whiskey sauce.

Now turn up the heat to high. Leave it on high for about an hour, stirring a couple times.
Once it appears that the meatballs have somewhat thawed, go ahead and turn your crock pot down to low.

You don’t want to burn all that wonderful whiskey sauce! That’s the best part!

Drunken Meatballs Part 3


Sweet and Sour Meatballs with a kick



lb. of ground beef
1/2 lb. of ground turkey
1/2 cup of plain bread crumbs (try for whole wheat)
1/4 cup chopped raw onion (finely chopped)
1 teaspoon of adobe seasoning
1 teaspoon of salt
and 1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder
1 teaspoon of dry mustard powder
1/2 teaspoon of ginger
1/4 teaspoon of black pepper, fine mill
2 tablespoons of purchased chili sauce
1 egg, beaten


Sauce:
1 jar of pineapple or apricot preserves
1/3 cup of chili sauce
1/4 cup of bourbon
1/2 teaspoon of hot pepper sauce (4 to 5 shakes)

The meatballs and the sauce can be prepared ahead separately, and kept covered for up to two days, just combine and reheat gently before serving.

Heat oven to 400 degrees.
In large bowl, combine all meatball ingredients, mix well.
Shape into slightly larger than one inch meatballs. Place on ungreased baking pan 15 x10 x
Bake for 20 minutes until thoroughly cooked.
Sauce, combine all sauce ingredients in sauce pan and mix well. Cook over low heat until bubbly, stirring often.
Add meatballs to sauce, stir gently to coat.
Serve in a slow cooker or fondue pot, chafing dish to keep warm for the guests. I count on 3 per person as a serving.


Now this sweet and sour meatball recipe has no alcohol in it.  I ate these before I ever saw the recipe..and good thing, cause if I saw it first I never would have tried one...but I am telling you..TRY THIS..you wont regret it!!

  Sweet and Sour Meatballs
1 pkg. frozen meatballs; home style
18 oz. jar grape jelly
1 jar chili sauce

Mix together in crock pot and turn on low. Cook 4 hours or until heated through

 (use homemade meatballs..so easy to make and tastes SOOOOO much better)






Homemade Meatballs

1/4 cup chopped Parsley

1.5 pounds lean ground beef

4 slices smoked bacon, diced (raw; don't cook it)

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1/4 cup Panko-style breadcrumbs

2 eggs

2 tablespoons dried minced onion flakes

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon kosher or sea salt

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

additional ingredients:

1 cup flour

2 cups chicken broth (can use beef)

1 (6-ounce) can tomato paste

The Directions.

Use a 6-quart slow cooker. Spray the inside of your cooker with cooking spray, or rub it down with a bit of olive oil (don't go crazy, just a little glisten) and set aside. In a good-sized mixing bowl, combine the chopped parsley, ground beef, and diced bacon. Add in Parmesan cheese, breadcrumbs, eggs, and the dried spices. Combine well--- Use your hands (remove rings, wash appropriately, and all that good stuff that if I had a legal team they'd tell me to include).

After the meat is mixed, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or non-stick foil. Pour 1 cup of flour into a shallow dish (pie pan works great).

Roll meat into golf ball-sized balls and then lightly dust each meat ball with flour before placing onto the lined cookie sheet. When all the meat is gone, put the whole cookie sheet into the freezer for 1 hour, or until completely frozen. It's okay to freeze overnight, if you'd like to break this into two days (put in sealed dish/Tupperware if freezing for longer).

Once your meatballs are frozen, place them one-by-one (this means don't dump!) into your lightly greased slow cooker. It's okay to stack them. In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the broth and tomato paste to create a gravy. Pour this evenly over the meatballs. Cover, and cook on low for 5 hours, or until the meatballs have browned and are fully cooked. I cooked the meatballs pictured above on low for 5 hours, then let them sit on warm for another 3 1/2 hours before dinner was served.

I learned about the flour-and-freezing trick from the Internet--- it worked great, and is such a fantastic technique to keep the meat together. I already knew meatballs didn't need to be browned in the slow cooker beforehand but dredging them in flour first gives a bit more of a "crusty" texture and thickens the tomato gravy beautifully.

The Internet is so much fun!