About Doug and June

My photo
North America
This Blog was the brainchild of Doug and June...as they spend as much time discussing food as just about anything else. I (June) suggested Food Porn as a name for this blog, but he (Doug) thought people would get the wrong idea and be looking for some oddly shaped cucumbers or something like that and I had to agree. So he came up with Food DJ (Food Doug & June) if you couldn't figure it out on your own. But you will find here is some awesome recipes and lovely pictures of food (and possibly the equally lovely Doug eating said food). However just warning you, I believe Doug has an unhealthy preoccupation with bacon. Might I (June)add that I love glossy, scrumptious, food-porn-filled cookbooks? The glossy paper, the photos that ooze calories, the chatty yet suggestive descriptions... ahh I smell sex and bacon.

Monday, August 6, 2012

If you die tomorrow, what is on your computer???





Well that is an very interesting question..so I looked around on my computer...many many pictures of food...many many pictures of Doug... many many pictures of my family and friends...a ton of eclectic music mp3's....lots of pictures Diane has sent me of lots of things..and many oddly funny cartoons and jokes.. I realized as weird as it all may be..it's nothing those who know and love me would be surprised at..

I am a sensuous & crazy woman who loves life's luxuries - tastes, smells, sounds, feelings, images... I need to indulge this part of me- delicious, tantalizing food and drink; gently scented candles, perfumes, powders, incense; wonderful music from sexy, sulty jazz to bone-shaking blues; soft, comfortable clothing and richly textured bedding and surrounded by beautiful, peaceful colors. I am a dreamer with my feet firmly planted in the stars.  When I love a man I devote my self to him, his pleasure, his joy and him alone..he becomes my everything!! And I want it that way! I encourage to explore what makes you happy... not what others say should make you happy.. but what do YOU love?


I love music...and I have always been a sucker for a mean guitar...music is a way to express my soul....my life is "interesting right now"... "I got this feeling that something ain't right.. I am trying to make sense of it all, but I can see it makes no sense at all..I don't think I can take any more..I have clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right" like I said "INTERESTING"...hahahaha I am wiccan but not spooky... (very much)... and I collect teddybears, bunnies and seashells.I love Cape Cod- all seasons. I love Disneyworld...I would live there if I could! lol ..

I believe that we are magic, all things are possible, life is precious,  peace is reasonable, laughter is special, miracles are everywhere, blessings are divine, love is the best thing ever.

NOT CAPABLE OF BEING SILENCED OR SUBDUED (ask Doug or Diane).  If I am with you it will be because I WANT to NOT because HAVE to. If I am your friend,  it's because I love you unconditionally. The things I love best have no price tag. The people I love best are more precious to me than diamonds.

I found this..hysterically funny..at least I think so...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?


Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second!
Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: { [logged off]

I guess to see the humor in this you have to understand cybering...hehehehe.. trust me this is too damn funny!!



Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem...be sure you aren't surrounded by assholes.

The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy it.  The second time you look to see if the basement has termites.  It's the same with men.  ~Lupe Velez


A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is.  I don't think it works like that.  I think it's the opposite.  I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become.  ~Anita Wise

Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.  ~Mignon McLaughlin



No comments:

Post a Comment